Great concepts used for the setting and I am immediately rooting for the protagonist. I definitely want to read more! Yes its a draft that needs polishing but get the story down first while its fresh.
I love this story…I was immersed in the plight of the protagonist. A perfect antagonist, the cabal. Corporate greed never ends. Can’t wait to read more.
Corporate, probably? Or am I missing something? I think it's quite good, draws one in, but a bit heavy on cliches: blood turns to ice, whole sections with joyless black coffee that are kinda lifted from blade runner. You did the hard bit well. Finesse the wording. Sorry if u requested feedback not helpful. All best mate. R
The concept of economic viability as a measure of human worth made me cringe since it's our current reality.
I also have a personal question I wanted to ask, I left it inbox, when you have time please check it out.
Nice! I've got one brewing at "The Watchers Mind" - check it out when you can...
Great concepts used for the setting and I am immediately rooting for the protagonist. I definitely want to read more! Yes its a draft that needs polishing but get the story down first while its fresh.
I love this story…I was immersed in the plight of the protagonist. A perfect antagonist, the cabal. Corporate greed never ends. Can’t wait to read more.
Corporate, probably? Or am I missing something? I think it's quite good, draws one in, but a bit heavy on cliches: blood turns to ice, whole sections with joyless black coffee that are kinda lifted from blade runner. You did the hard bit well. Finesse the wording. Sorry if u requested feedback not helpful. All best mate. R
No problem, it is a first draft. Thanks for the feedback and I'll Take a look at the second rewrite.